The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature/Transcript
Transcript You might think life is easy fora cute little squirrel with a fluffy fail, but it's not. Sure, when kids see you in the park, they go, Aww!. Aww! If you're lucky, they give you nuts. If you're unlucky, they are nuts. Being the little guy means everything's out to get you. Bikes... Cars... Gum... Ugh. Ugh! Whoa! But things got a whole lot better last summer when the Nut Shop went out o! business, and left a lifetime supply of food in the basement. Fur once, the little guy at the bottom of the food chain came out on top. Cannonball! You da man, Surly. Ha-ha! Thank you. Thank you. I call that one "The Peanut Buster," patent pending. Excellent. A very tight tuck. And a high degree of difficulty. I prefer a cleaner entry. A little loo much flare. Whoa, nice. 10. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to slacking off. Looking good, Surly. Yeah, whoo-hoo! Hey, Bruce, remember to pace yourself. Why would I wanna do that'? Playing with your food? Nice. Look out! Oh! Slow down or someone's gonna get hurt. Yes. Wheel Yee-haw! Ahh! Precious, come on. That's disgusting. We talked about this. No lick-licks. Ah, sorry, boss. It's hard to respect your personal space when you taste like peanut butter. There's a peanut butter machine right there. No way. Peanut butter. Come on, Daddy needs a new pair of shoes. What do you need shoes for? You're a wild animal. Come on, snake eyes. One peanut-colada, coming right up. Keep 'em coming, Morty. All right. Clear a path. Mixed nuts coming through. Stuff your face until it's pink. How many peanuts can you drink'? One. Two. Three. Four. Get your popcorn here. Hot, fresh popcorn. The fun never stops with the corn that pops. Popcorn here. Get your popcorn. No fair. Mine didn't pop. That was awesome! This is the life, Buddy, huh? Kickin' back, literally doing nothing. Remember when we had to work for these things? Come on, Dad. Hurry up. Careful, sweetheart. Not too fast. There it is. With a little hard work and determination, that nut will be ours. Uh, Andie, why don't we just get free nuts from the Nut Shop like everyone else? Does anybody else think that's a good idea? - Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do. - Oh! Oh! Oh! Yeah. No. It's a terrible idea. Oh. Come on, guys. We're wild animals. Living off the Nut Shop is unnatural. But their products are 100% organic. Now, who thinks we should go get that nut? Guys. This is when you're supposed to put your hands up. - Right. Okay, Andie. Okay. - Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That's better. Now, pay attention because this will be on the test. Remember, the nut is your friend. It's been waiting its whole life for this. Place your hands at 10:00 and 2:00 and gently pull. Gently pull. Ahh! Uh, Andie? Will this be on the test? Please hold all questions until the end of the demonstration. The Nut Shop's looking better and better. Mmm-hmm. See, class? Hard work always pays off. Ooh! - Ahh! - Ooh! See? That wasn't so bad. Now we can squirrel that nut away for the winter. Who wants to go to the Nut Shop'? Nut Shop rules! Johnny's got the early lead, but Jimmy's close behind. Official eating contest rules are in full effect. Any regurgitory reversals will result in disqualification. Yay! Whoo-hoo! Yeah. Here come the nuts. Attaboy, Johnny. Show those nuts who's boss. Are you joking? An eating contest? What? It's good for morale. Surly! Hold that cranky response. I got you something. A Brazil nut? Yeah. It's, uh, exotic. I, uh, thought you might like, uh... That's really sweet. I... I can't believe you saved it for me. But, you know, I... I won't take food from the Nut Shop. Well, that was supposed to play out differently. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Living off the Nut Shop was okay in the beginning, but look at what it's become. And Jimmy tries to take the lead with his patented hammerhead technique. What a tremendous athlete. Classic. This is not what animals do. We work hard, we store, we save. Look at all of you. Lazy and spoiled and fat. Who you callin' fat? Come back to the park, Surly. It's where we belong. That's my favorite thing about being mayor. You get to sign your own permits. Hear, hear. Every square inch of this city is generating profits. How else could we skim enough off the top to build ourselves that private golf course? Am I right, people? Fore! But I've got a thorn in my side. One part of this city puts nothing in my pocket. Liberty Park. Nothing but grass and trees sitting on premium city real estate. Generates zero profit, and I can't very well charge children to climb trees, now can I? I'll look into it, sir. A dollar a climb? No need. I got bigger plans than trees. Andie, come back. Come on, what's with you? Why are you so mad'? The animals are losing their instincts. They' re not gathering or storing anything for winter, and they're not working together. Take it easy. That's all anybody does around here. Take it easy. For she's a jofly good eater! For she's a jolly good eater! What's wrong with easy? Easy doesn't build character. Easy doesn't last. That's ridiculous. Look at 'em. Working together, building character. Morale is at an all-time high. You gotta get with the program, Andie. It's a house of cards, Surly, and it's only a matter of time till it comes crashing down. Relax. It's not like the Nut Shop's gonna explode. Oh, no! The peanut butter machine was in there. Oh, I can still taste you on my lips. No. Oh, dear. Mole, you had one job. What was that again? Shut off the boiler, so it doesn't explode. It's not my fault. I told Jimmy to do it. I told Johnny to do it. I told Jamie to do it. And I told Mole to do it. Oh, right. It is my fault. What are we going to do, Surly? Yeah. What are we gonna do? Where we gonna get food? It's okay. It's okay. We'll be fine. We'll just go back to scrounging and gathering like nature intended. This will be a good thing. What? You think the Nut Shop blowing up is a good thing? Well, I got news for you. Nobody's gonna gather. Nobody's gonna scrounge. Nobody's gonna break their back collecting dirty, old, stale acorns. Sit down, put your feet up, and Surly'll take care of everything. It's over, Surly. Things can't go back to the way they were. I'll find a new place even better than the Nut Shop. Like a nut market. Or a nut emporium. In fact, why limit ourselves to nuts? This city's got everything. Popcorn. Donuts. Hot dog on a stick. Hot dog on a stick? Yeah! I love hot dogs. I love sticks. What do you say, Buddy? You in? You can do it, Surly. Bring us back a smorgasbord. Hot dog on a stick! Hot dog on a stick! There are no shortcuts in life, Surly. Oh, really? Come on, Buddy. Let's take the shortcut. When we find food, Andie's gonna be all like... "Oh, Surly, you were right all along. "And I was wrong all along." Please, Andie, don't beat yourself up about it. "Oh, Surly, you're so wise and forgiving "and kind and nice and furry." Shh. Don't worry, Andie. I forgive you. Huh? Jackpot. Or should I say, le jackpot. Oh, baby, you gotta try this escargot. Oh! That's good. Rats! Move it, Buddy! Let's go! Get out of my restaurant, you disgusting rodents! Jackpot. Salty, overpriced, snack food jackpot. Come on. Thank you, popcorn. Oh... Yes. Buddy, look. One left. Oh, come on! All units, we have a Code 7 in progress. It's half-priced donuts, people. Get moving! Dibs on the jelly. Get in there, get in there. Jackpot Deep-fried, honey-glazed, artery-clogging jackpot. Not the donut! Not the donut! Wow! Those guys are serious about donuts. Ah, let's face it. There's no food for us out here. Let's go back to the park. This is our stop. Pay attention. Timing is everything. One, two, three. I forgot to account for the mailbox. Everyone is gonna expect us to have food, so we're gonna need to let them down easy. Got it? All right. Follow my lead. Oh! Hey, Surly's back. Come on. Yay. Surly. Surly! Surly, Yeah! Did you find food? Uh... They found food. What Buddy means is we found food, but it's complicated. Did you find popcorn? Buddy! Did you find donuts? Here's the thing... How many donuts? Everybody hold on! Eight donuts? There is no food! We're all gonna die! Everybody calm down. Calm down! Thank you. Come on, guys. Look around. We're the luckiest animals in the world. Our park has everything we need. This park's our home What are you doing? Singing. It felt like the right thing to do. When's the last time you saw somebody spontaneously break into song'? Oh, come on. They were into it. It was a little awkward. You're not a great singer. Honestly, it was kind of pitchy. Jeez. Tough crowd. We all love the park, but please... Please, never do that again. One question! One question! Ladies and gentlemen of the press, welcome to Liberty Park. I think we can all agree this boring old park needs a shot in the arm. Behold! Libertyland! The greatest place on Earth! Who wants a regular park when you can have an amusement park'? It's more fun, more rides, more games, and more profit. Libertyland is my greatest creation. You told me I was your greatest creation. No, no. Of course you are, sweetheart. No, Libertyland is my second-greatest creation. No, no, no. This is all wrong. I want the Tilt-A-Whirl here, bumper cars here, and cotton candy here, here, here, here, here, and here. That's a lot of cotton candy now, snookums. We don't want your teeth to fall out. But I want it! Okay. She wants her teeth to fall out, let's do it. Can we get some more cotton candy in here, please? Yes, sir. Now! This doesn't look good. Why don't you sing a song about it? Mr. Mayor, over here. Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor, what's going to happen to the animals in the park? Ah, nobody cares about these animals. Nobody cares more than me. Look, don't you worry. I will take care of them. I will make sure they're all taken care of. And without further ado, let the groundbreaking begin! Look at that sign. They're gonna destroy the park. We're all gonna die! Calm down. It's a fat guy with a tiny shovel. How much damage can he do? Oh, I get it. The tiny shovel was a symbolic gesture. Oh, no. Run! Well, my work here is done. You see, sweetheart? I make the speech, they do the work. Whew! Abandon park! Hey, where's everyone going? Wait up. Andie. Andie! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, slow down. Who put you in charge? This isn't about who's in charge, Surly. It's about keeping us safe. Are you saying I can't keep us safe? You had your chance to take care of the group, and you blew it. Instead of doing what was right, you did what was easy. Ooh! Easy? Huh! Look at you. You're running away. What could be easier than that? Oh, I'm sorry. What do you think we should do? We, uh... We fight! Fight the humans? We're all gonna die! Tiny animals do not fight humans with giant machines. If you wanna tuck tail and run, go ahead, but I'm staying here. This park belongs to us, and I think it's worth fighting for. Let's go get 'em. Who's with me? We're with you, Surly. Heck, yes, we are. Huh! Please, Surly. Think about what you're saying. For the park! Let me show you guys how it's done. In the name of the park, I order you to stop your vehicle and... So much for peaceful protest. Let's see you drive without this. Whoa, Surly. That was awesome. YOU Okay? I'm good, but you guys get the next one. So I told the foreman, my head's so thick I don't need a hard hat. Get it off! Get it off! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig- Whoa! Hey! Hold on, I'll be done in a second. Whoa! MOUSE: Don't forget to flush. Ha! Let's trash this place. Whoa! I'm de-filing this thing. This is what I call a number three. Whoa! Whoa! Hey, look what I found. Hut, hut, hut! Whoa! It's good! I wonder what this thing does'? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Whoa! Ow! Ow! Whoa! Ahh! You guys gotta try this thing. Trailer trash. Ha! Nobody cuts down a tree in my park. Fire! I may not be aerodynamic, but I'm an excellent projectile. Ha! Now we've both got a squished-in face. One left. You ready, Buddy? Go! Go! Go! Go! No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Back in the hive! No, no, no! Ow! Ow! No, no, no! Ahh! Huh? Nice work, Buddy. We took a lot of stings for the team on that one. How did you not get stung? You better run! I'm off-leash, on a rampage! Hello? Yep, this is he. Yes, I received your bribe. On, did I say bribe? Why, I meant "campaign contribution." Gotta go. Come in. Um... Mr. Mayor... Well, look who it is. How nice of you to take time out of your busy day to come down here and let me know that construction is right on schedule. Actually, sir, that's not why I'm here. Well, then you must be here to tell me that we're ahead of schedule. Uh... 'Cause I know you ain't here to tell me that we have fallen behind! Sir, we were overrun by animals. They threw our potty in the river. Libertyland will proceed according to plan! Ooh, some mangy little rodents think they can stop me? Well, I'll show them what happens when you mess with Percival J. Muldoon! Oh, yes, I will. Oh, yes. I will. Way to go, Surly! You saved the park. You did it, Surly. Let's just say that bulldozer wrote a check its scoop couldn't cash. Ugh! Stop that. We talked about this. Oh, come on. We're celebrating. Fine. One more lick, then you're cut off. Ooh! Thanks, boss. I'm gonna make it count. Ooh, yeah, it's gonna be a good one. It's gonna be a good one. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Wow. That was intense. Oh, you taste good today. Stale acorns with just a hint of bulldozer. Way to go, everyone. We did it. I know everyone is hungry, so I brought you all a little surprise. Ta-da! It's all the nuts I was saving for winter. - Ew! - Yuck! Not exactly what I'd call "fine dining." Oh, come on, Surly. Have one. We're all in this together. Where'd you get this thing? The bottom of a vacuum bag'? Delicious. More like dust-licious. Hey. Hey, what the... See? There's life after the Nut Shop. Hmm. Oh, don't be like that. Hey. There you are. I never got a chance to say you were amazing today. I'm always amazing. Today, you just happened to notice. I'm serious. I didn't think we stood a chance against those bulldozers, but when you pulled everyone together, we were unstoppable. Well, don't get used to it. It was a one-time thing. Today was a good day. Why are you so intent on being grumpy? Are you happy it's gone? Surly... Answer the question. I'm glad we're all living together in the park again, yes. Even if we starve? We're not gonna starve. Quit being so dramatic. Animals did just fine before there were nut shops. Well, sorry if I'm not as excited about it as you are. It would be nice if you could be. Excited? Yes. About scrounging for dusty old nuts? Ha! The animals look up to you, Surly. You need to set an example. And what do you expect me to do? You could start by getting up at sunrise. Get a head start on the scrounging. The animals will wake up and see you working hard and think, "I should work hard, too." I'm gonna have to give that a hard pass. I'm sleeping in. Well, you know what they say. The early squirrel gets the nut. That's not even a thing. You just replaced "bird" with "squirrel," and "worm" with "nut." Well, it doesn't make it any less true. Good night, Andie. Rise and shine, people. Today is going to be a great day. Ugh! I think I'm having a nightmare. Up you get. Clap your hands. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But what does that make yesterday'? Hey, Precious, wake up. She's still sleeping. Ahh! Hey, Andie! I'm starving! What's for breakfast? Whatever you want. As long as you gather it yourself. Are you kidding me? Please, Andie, stop. Quit while you're behind. Why lounge around when you can scrounge around for some nuts on the ground'? Take your rhymes somewhere else, sister. You're right. You should hang back. Wouldn't want everybody to see that Surly Squirrel has lost his instincts. Hmm! Try and keep up. Nuts. That's strange. Where did those come from? No instincts, huh? How do you explain this? Surly! Well, this is embarrassing. Surly's trapped, come on! Pull! We're all gonna die! More specifically, you're gonna die. Way to keep it positive. Get me out of here! Pull! It won't open! It won't open! Mr. Mayor, you have called the right man for the job. You'll be back to building your amusement park in no time. Let me demonstrate. The little squirrel having a nice day. He sees a nut. "Hello there, nut!" Cage closes, we drive him to the forest, let him go, good as new. I see. And this won't hurt the animals? Oh, no, Mr. Mayor! Humane traps only. Nobody's hurt, everybody's happy. Well, may I? Of course. I don't want humane! I want painful, gruesome termination! Mr. Mayor, that is a horrible and twisted way to deal with the animals. Daddy, I can help. I'm good at shooting cute, little, defenseless creatures. Oh, sweetheart. Daddy is so proud of you. Oh, look. We got one. Go get him, Frankie! Go, Frankie, go! On three, everyone pull together. One, two, three! You okay? I'm fine. I... I'm fine. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. You had me worried there for a second. Wait. What's that sound? It's probably the little paranoid voice in your head screaming at the top of its lungs again. I'm serious. You certainly are. You know, you're not as funny as you think you are. Dog! Run! Dog! Precious! Help! Ahh! Okay, someone's gonna pay for that. Whoa. Why is he lookin' at me like that? What a beauty! That smooshed-in face, those bulging eyes. She's like an angel. Just go with it. What? No, gross. You gotta go talk to him, or that mutt is gonna rip us apart. Ah... You owe me big time. Hey, there, handsome. Hey, there, precious. What? How do you know my name? Wait, your name is actually Precious'? Whoa. My name's Frankie. It's long for Frank. Oh, hey, I just had the most unbelievable thought. I'm Frankie, you're Precious. That makes us, Frecious. Keep him occupied. Try using your feminine charm. This is my feminine charm! So, uh, tell me more about you. What do you do for fun? I would be more than happy to show you. Come here, you. Come back here. Get going. I can't look away. This guy is dumber than a bowling ball with a face painted on it. I'm gonna get you. Oh! Oh! Oh! This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Gotcha! Frankie's got a girlfriend. Daddy, I got a new dog. My little prince met a princess. Surly! Precious! I'm coming for you, Precious! Hang in there! Ha-ha! Come on, boys! Tonight we dine on squirrels! Over the... Guys in the... Slow down. What are you saying? Uh... We're all gonna die! Oh, no! Everybody scatter! My Egg! No one's gettin' scrambled on my watch. Oh, thank you. Come on, let's get out of here. Everybody out. We gotta go. Leave it. There's no time. Guys, wait up! Get back here, you chubby little beast! Come on, tiny legs! Go faster! This is so much fun! Whoo! Whoa! On! Ow! My fingers! And stay out! You're gonna pay for this! Fire in the hole. That's not good. Ah! Huh? I'd say we got him. Smile. You've completely destroyed this park. And I must say, I am a fan of your work. All right, you layabouts, get moving! Buckle up, sweetheart. You know Daddy's got a lead foot. Precious! Surly! We gotta rescue Precious. It's my fault she was taken by that crazy kid. Okay. You and Buddy go after Precious. I'll find us a new place to live. What? Look around, Surly. It's over. We have to leave the park. Where are we gonna go'? There's another park on the other side of town. We'll check it out and report back. What about the rest of us? What should we do? You have the most important job of all, little guy. Try to not get killed. I'll try, but I can't make any promises. Okay, let's get moving. Hey. Be careful out there. Yeah. You too. What're you waitin' for? Move! Out of the way, riffraff! Well, I don't have time for traffic. Whee! Get a license plate? Whoa! Faster, Daddy. Go faster. Slow down. I know this relationship is moving fast, but when it's right, it's right. No! Slow down the car! Where'd you learn to drive? I voted for you. Very nice to meet you. Have a good day. Bye-bye. Whoa! Oh! Oof! Ow! Come on, man. Silly doggy. Your new home is this way. Help! I'm not a rescue! I need to be rescued! Run, doggies, run! Oh! Ow! Whoa! Are you okay? Your owner is deranged. Yeah. She's got a screw loose, that's for sure. Who wants to eat today? Oh, come on. She's gonna feed us. I make it a rule to never take food from psychos. But I'm starving. Frankie, sit! Stand on your hind legs! Stand on one foot! What are you, a circus dog? I could be. You got a thing for circus dogs? Play dead! Ah! Ah! I'm hit. I'm hit. Ah! Oh! Ah! You got me. Ooh! Ah! You got me. Man, that is dark. Good boy. Life is easy when you do exactly what you're told. Now, it's your turn. Roll over. I said, "roll over!" What are you doin'? Roll over! L don't know how. I'm not classically trained. Oh, boy. This ain't gonna be good. You better learn to do some tricks, or you're gonna be hungry! We've gotta find the mayor's house and get Precious back. Who you wavin' to? Oh. No time to make new friends, Buddy. Come on. This looks like a shortcut. Oh, don't tell me you're scared. Everyone knows there's nothing safer than a dark alley. Come on. Ahh! Just a lovable little dolly. Oh! Well, that's shoddy workmanship. Dead end. Oh, no. This is bad. I'm too young to die. I'm too furry to die. It's been nice knowing you, Buddy. Oh, phew! I thought we were in real trouble there for a second. You scared us, you cute little guy. Boop. I shouldn't have booped his cute little nose. Don't call me cute! The boop was too much. This is my city. You are on my turf. How can someone so cute be so violent? Ow! I said, don't call me cute! Got it. My name is Mr. Feng. I was cursed with these big, adorable eyes, and this fuzzy little body, but make no mistake... I'm a weapon of mouse destruction. Witness the power of my one-sixteenth-of-an-inch punch. Aw, that's cute. And painfully efficient. The city is no place for park animals. My army is unstoppable, each mouse more deadly than the last. If you're telling me that the first mouse is the least deadly, I'd like to speak with him. Any last words? Yeah, just one. Cat! Huh? Everybody run! Come on, Buddy! There's no cat. Get them! You were right! No more dark alleys! Oof! Taxi! No! Buddy! - Run! - Get the rat! Give me your hand, Buddy. I got you. Come on, jump! If you ever come back to the city, you're dead! See you later, you cutie patootie! Wow, that sounded tougher in my head. Hurry up. The new park is right over that wall. What is taking them so long? Come on! Whoa, whoa. We were just doing what the sign said. Oh, oh! It's as pretty as a picture. A picture of a beautiful park. It's perfect. Yeah, you're right. It's not bad. Whoa! Out of my way! No way! Me first! How good is this? And we've got the place to ourselves. Hello? Everyone's gonna love it. Mole can dig a new hole right over there. The chipmunks can live in that beautiful old tree. Gradually hollowing it out until it stops living. This park has everything we need. This park's our home What is it? Beats me. Looks delicious. It's stuck. Get it out! Get it out! At this point, I'm tempted to let natural selection take its course. Get it out! That thing stole my ball! You gotta play it as it lays! That's a stroke! That's a stroke! I'm counting all these, Barry! Spit that thing out. I'm trying! I'm trying! Look out! It came out. Run that thing over! Look out! Whoa! Nice park, Andie! This place is great! Buddy, look. It's the mayor's car. Hang on, Precious. We're coming for you. Mailbox. Good lookin' out, Buddy. So many mailboxes. Come on down, Buddy. I got you. Were you aiming for my face'? This is gonna be a stealth mission, so shh! Don't say a word. That shouldn't be a problem for you. Okay, that's a little creepy. Buddy, check this out. I call that one "The Flying Squirrel." Oh, I'm gonna kill you! You kept me on hold for 10 minutes! Anyhoo, the roller coaster was delivered today. We got a great deal on a used one that was condemned. Ah, safety, shmafety. I want profitability. My name's Emma, and this is my sister Maddie. Can we come in and play? No way! You have no bodies! Our castle is for body-people only. Fine. We'll use our piranha teeth and chew our way in. So this is what they mean when they say, "There were warning signs-" Yeah. You sleep better if you don't watch. Hey, what's wrong? You hungry, babe'? Starving. ls she ever gonna feed me? Hard to say, but don't worry. Frankie's got you covered. Dinner is served. You want me to eat your barf? That is revolting! Revolting? Nah, girl. Regurgitation. There's a big difference. Whatever it's called, it looks nasty. Hmm. Sorry, sweetie. I was just trying to do something nice. I didn't mean to gross you out or nothin'. Hmm. No sense in lettin' this go to waste. Oh, no! Well, no sense lettin' that go to waste either. It's amazing how quickly rock bottom sneaks up on you. Psst! Precious. What are you, vegan? This has no taste. Hey, Frankie, what's that behind you? Huh? You wanna see me catch it, don't you? Hey, get back here. Get back here, you. Help. Help. They're eating everyone. I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you. Oh, oh, oh, oh! This ain't gonna be good for you. This ain't gonna be good for you. Shh! I'm gonna catch you. I'm gonna catch you. Come on. Get back here. Come on. Get back here. Hey! What's going on? Sorry, Frankie. You're not really my type. I was just pretending to like you to save my friends. Pretending? But together, we're Frecious. Come on. Hop on! Come on, move it! I'm a pug. I'm not built for speed. Or power, or looks. She's shootin' at us! Giddy up! Yee-haw! Ride, ride, ride! Stop kickin' me! I'm not a horse! Good idea, Buddy. Watch the rear. When I catch you, your heads are going on the wall! I don't think that's an empty threat! Hang on! This is the worst rescue of all time! Daddy! What's all this ruckus? Hey, now! Ahh! Whoa! Gotcha! Stop, stop! Throw this puppy in reverse! Get back here! Bottoms up! - Toodle-oo! - No! Yee-haw! Ow! Daddy, they're getting away! Hold up. There's something I gotta do. Come on, we gotta go. Buddy, you worry too much. Well, well, well. We meet again. Little Mayor! It's squirrel season. Wha... - Ha! ls that all you got? - Buddy. Buddy, no! You got one. Buddy! No! And stay out! Andie... It's Buddy. Oh, no. What happened? He's hurt real bad. Here, let me help you. Oh, his chest is movin'. That means he's breathin'. That's gotta be good, right? It's all my fault. If I hadn't been so reckless, he'd still be okay. Let me get this straight. Liberty Park is destroyed, the backup park was a bust, and now Buddy's hurt too'? Yes, yes, and yes. Wow, I'm never right. Now it happens three times in a row, and I'm not even happy about it. Hey, Buddy, remember when we... We hid in that jack-o'-lantern so we could steal Halloween candy from the trick-or-treaters? I didn't notice the candle. My tail caught on fire. Meanwhile, you got away with two bags of candy. Or that time we mailed ourselves to the peanut factory'? You got there fine, I got flagged as a suspicious package and spent two weeks at the FBI. It should have been me who fell off that ledge. You're the lucky one. You're the one who always ends up okay. Hey, you need a break. I'm fine. Tell me about Buddy. How did you guys get to be so close'? I've known Buddy forever. Met him the year of the hurricane. The sky was a terrible color. Never seen anything like it. Surly! Whoa! Ahh! Surly! Wow! That sure is a howler. Bad as I've ever seen. Oh, totally. SURLY 1 Then I saw him, the tiniest mile rat. Couldn't have been more than a few weeks old. Wha... Oh, no! We have to help him. It's too late. There's nothing we can do. No! Seal the door. Wait. I'm coming for you, little buddy. Whoa! Little guy. Little buddy. Oof! Hang on! Hang on! You got it. You got it. Get down! That's when I blacked out. I have no idea how he kept me alive. He never spoke a word about it. Or anything else. When I woke up, he was there, and he hasn't left my side ever since. Can you believe this goofball saved my life'? Sounds like you saved each other. Bring it down nice and easy. Okay, that's good. Libraryland? Guh! That doesn't sound fun at all. It says "Libertyland," you moron. You should've gone to Libraryland when you was a kid. Oof! Tell your crew of illiterate layabouts to hurry up! Mr. Mayor, if we go any faster, we're gonna have to start cuttin' corners. So cut 'em. I never liked corners. I prefer rounded shapes myself. Look at this ride. Those are office chairs. Kids love office chairs. What if somebody gets hurt? That is an excellent point. I'm gonna need you to make a sign with large red letters that says, "No refunds!" We've gotta do something. So do something. We need you to come up with a plan. Your plan is for me to come up with a plan'? Oh, that's a great plan. News flash, Andie. My crazy plans don't work. Look what happened to Buddy. Look at them, Surly. They've lost the Nut Shop. They've lost the park. There's nothing to eat, but they're still here. Why do you think that is? 'Cause there's nowhere left to go. They're here because of you. They need something to believe in. I need something to believe in. What happens if he doesn't wake up, Andie? Then what? Hey, Buddy. I never got a chance to say thanks for breakin' me out. Leave him alone. I was just tryin' to say thanks. Did... Did he just move? Come on, Buddy. Wake up. Come back to me, Buddy. Surly... Lick him again. Do it. But... But you just said... Who cares what I said? Just do it! Come on, come on. I knew it. Even in a coma, nobody can stand to have dog slobber on their face. Hey, I resent that. I've seen the places you lick. Touch. Now, hit him with everything you got. Buddy. I thought I'd lost you. My licks are magical. Hey, anybody else need one? No, we're good. I'm so sorry, Buddy. I promise, I'll never do anything reckless again. Don't turn over a new leaf just yet. We still need to save the park. What do you expect me to do? Lead us into battle against the mayor and his goons? Destroy all the rides and take back Liberty Park by force'? I mean, come on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jeez, guys, that's kind of a lot of pressure. You can do it, boss. It's all you. No, it's not all me. If we wanna stop these guys, it's gonna take everyone. Gather 'round. Let's make a plan. Thank you. Thank you. - Thank you all for coming. - Mr. Mayor. What are you waiting for? Take my picture! That kid's a monster. Her and the dog both. Hey, Frankie's nothing like her. You've got no idea what he's been through. Come on, Frankie, move it. Mr. Mayor, what do you say to allegations that this amusement park is an environmental catastrophe? Uh, well... I, uh... I, um... No questions! All right. Well, then hit the switch. "Lie-land"? Uh... I'll get that fixed right away. Nah, don't bother. No sense in running up the electric bill. Mr. Mayor. Hey. What's going on? Now, now, tonight is an exclusive event for my campaign contributors. You will be more than welcome to buy your very own full-price tickets when it opens to the public. Perfect timing. Launch the aerial campaign! Ahh! My eye! That's the sign! That's the sign! Remember your training. You had training? I'm good to go. I'm good to go. I'm flyin'. I'm flyin'. Yeah. Ha-ha. Yeah. Whoo! Time to eat my vegetables. And by vegetables, I mean ketchup. Huh? Oh, boy! Whoo-hoo! Ooh. Yeah. - White tuxedo. - Target acquired. When that clock hits 9:00, we attack. That clock hasn't worked in 30 years. What? Gah! All right, fine. Everyone go. Just forget the clock. Just go. Ah! My white tuxedo! Dive! Dive! Dive! Get 'em! Go, go, go, go, go! Go, go! Stop pecking me! Ahh! m! Drink up! Drink up! Got him. Whack that mole. Whack-a-mole. How do you like it? How do you like it'? The very existence of this game offends me. Nice chewin', guys. Ahh! I want that squirrel's head deep-fried on a stick! What are you doing? What? Nobody likes a parking hog. Ugh. Fine. Move, move, move, move, move! Ahh! Spread out, spread out. Come out, come out, wherever you are. Yeah. We're not gonna hurt you. Punch it! Whoo! It's Groundhog Day! You are a terrible driver. What do you expect? I'm a groundhog. I need backup. I need backup! Whoa! I got him. Watch the road. Watch the road! - What the... - Let me go! Got 'em. Six more weeks of winter. Yeah, that's a groundhog joke! Whoa! Everybody take cover. Come here, fuzzy little guy. Where do you think you're going? Buddy, stay behind me. - Surly! - Precious, look out! Ahh! Let me go, you... Precious! No, Buddy. No! Buddy! Gotcha, you little critter! Oh! Okay, boys. Move it through! Andie. Andie, up here. Surly, they've got everyone. The groundhogs, Mole, even Buddy. We can't win this thing. Sure we can. No, Andie, we can't. Not with only two of us. But we have to try. Save yourself. Surly, stop. Find somewhere to hide. Surly. Ah! That's all of them, Mr. Mayor. Ladies and gentlemen, get back out there and have a good time. I assure you that our little rodent problem has been solved. I know you're out there! Come and get me! Mr. Feng will be happy to see you. Ahh! Get going! Move it! You were a lot cuter before you had a weapon. Hey, you're a long way from the park, little squirrel. Yeah, you're in the city now. Ahh! Oh! Oh! Ah! Oh! Oh! Oof. Huh? I told you to stay out of the city. You didn't listen. Now, you gonna pay. I came to talk to you. Get rid of him. What's the problem? You too cute to face me yourself'? "Cute"? Never call me cute! Yeah, yeah. Never call you cute, I heard you. But guess what? You are cute, and no matter how many times you kick me... Ahh! Or punch me... Ahh! It's not gonna change the fact that you're cute. You're an animal, and all animals are cute. Well, with the exception of the platypus. Those things are rough. Why are you here? I need your help to take back the park. I don't care about your park. I used to live in the park. We all did. We were peaceful and hawk but people called us vermin. They forced us out. They turned our home into a gob' course. We hid in the city and vowed to transform from cute and peaceful to armed and dangerous. We trained with the kung fu masters of the Shaoiin Temple. We grew strong and made sure our home would never be in danger again. Now I'm a city mouse, and I hate parks. Ahh! Oof. There's no such thing as a city mouse or a park mouse. We're all animals, and we need to look out for each other. Don't you see? They're doing the same thing to us that they did to you. This is your chance to do the right thing. Enough! You might as well do it because if you don't help me save my friends, I got nothing to live for. Mmm. Is everyone here? Everyone but Surly. What happened to Surly? He's probably got those animal control creeps right where he wants 'em. You're not gonna like where you're going. What's going on? Where are they taking us? We're all gonna die. Definitely gonna die. Stop! Hello, road kill! Now! Charge! Surly? Before you get mad, just remember, you're the one who wanted a crazy plan. I'd like you to meet my new friend, Mr. Feng. Oh, he's so cute! Ahh! That reminds me, don't call him cute. How did you convince a gang of city mice to come help us? We are not city mice. We are just mice. A long time ago, Mr. Feng and his friends were chased out of their homes, too. Nobody was there to stand up for us, and we lost everything. But Surly is right. We are all animals, and we are in this together. Individually, we might be tiny, but together, we're giants. For the park! For the park! For the park! Hey! How's it going? What the... Help! Ahh! There's so many of them! Lift! Wow, that was close! Dig, dig, dig! Run! All right, Buddy! Let 'er rip! Yeah, Buddy! That is what I'm talkin' about! Hey, guys! The swarm went over... Whoa! Popcorn! Popcorn! Ahh! Oh! Hey, Frankie. I thought I'd stop by, see how you're doing. I'm fine. I also wanted to say that I'm sorry. Don't worry about it. I'm used to people treatin' me bad. Hey, nobody deserves to live like that. You know, you don't need to pretend to like me anymore. Hey. I'm not pretendin'. Then Why'd you run out on me? I don't regret runnin' away, all right'? I regret not taking you with me. You looked out for me. You're a good guy with a good heart. That's not somethin' I'm gonna walk away from. Why should I trust you? What are you doing? I'm tryin' to regurgitate somethin' for you. Sorry... I haven't eaten in a while. Oh, babe! You'd do that for me? Like you said, together, we're Frecious. Knock them out. With pleasure. Now! Look out! No, no, no! Precious! I'm fine! It only hit my collar. This is crazy! You literally took a bullet for me. That's, like, true love! I guess it is! Take the shot! Bye-bye, little doggies! What are you doing? They're getting away! Ow! The tiny teeth are so sharp! Do I have to do everything myself? Ooh! Stop touching me! What do you have against me? Not so defenseless now, are we? Andie, turn him this way! Buddy, fire! Nice shot! You shot me with a dart? Uh-oh... um good. Ooh... I don't feel so good. Hello, doggies! Heather, sit! Whoa. Play dead! Man, I'm good at this. I should get a dog. It's coming right for us! Take cover! Whoa! Hey! Stop! Wait! Put me down! Stand up! All together! Right, left! Right, left! Whoa! Dwayne, are you okay'? Hiyah! Get him! Flying fist! Look out! Get down! Yeah! Ha-ha! Don't mess with the little guy. I'm not gettin' paid enough for this! Go, go! Stop! Stop! I order you! Stop right there! Ahh! Please accept my formal resignation. Hmm? Oh... That is a lot of sugar for a little guy. No! No! Yikes! That has got to be a safety violation. Whoever's in charge of this place is going to jail. Ooh, I would hate to be that guy. Ha! So long, suckers! I hear Canada is nice this time of year. You're not getting away that easy. TH-ta! Huh? Oof! He's getting away! Buddy, we don't have time for rides! Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. If an arm or leg becomes detached, you can pick it up at the Lost and Found, and remember, no refunds! The balloon! Buddy, you're a genius. Maybe we should put the safety bar down. Safety bars are overrated. Humans actually like this? It's too far! We're not gonna make it! Good idea, Buddy. We only got one shot at this. Here we go! Here we go! Three! Two! One! Now! Oh, I'm gonna mount your head on my wall! Time to take down this sack of hot air. I should've exterminated you when I had the chance. All right, time to take down this sack of hot air. You destroyed Libertyland, and now you're gonna die! Ahh! Ahh! Get off! Get off me! Ah! It's times like this I wish I had rabies. Get off! Get off! Where is he? Where'd he go'? Howdy. Oh, this is gonna be fun. Surly! Andie! My taxidermist is gonna have quite the job putting you back together again. What! What in the... This one's for Buddy! Whoa! - I'm okay! - Attack! Stop! Help! Help! I'm not okay! Help! You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us! Wow, those guys are hungry! Use your teeth, fellas! Get in there! Mr. Mayor, you're coming with me. Oh! Sarge, we're gonna take this into evidence. Code seven. Copy that, rookie. Get your hands off of me! Do you know who I am'? You, sir, are going to jail for a long time! Help! I can't go to jail, I'm rich! Get your hands off me! Do you know who I am? Ahh! You. You shot me with a dart! Please, please! Let me explain! Help! Somebody call the police! Her tiny teeth are so sharp! Ah! Ow! This amusement park is closed! - Surly! - Way to go, Surly! Hey, where's Andie? Whoa-hem! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Way to go, Andie! Yay, Andie! Whoa! You go, Andie! Way to go, guys! We did it! Ugh, Buddy! Ugh, Precious, no licking! We talked about this. Ugh, come on, man. We just met. Oh, ugh! Great. Two slobber monsters. The mayor is gone! The rides are destroyed! We're all gonna... Live! It took a lot of clean up to get rid of Libertyiand, but everyone in town pitched in. Turns out, some humans aren't half bad. Sure, they're ugly and they've got no fur, but they're not half bad. So I bet you're wondering if I learned some huge lesson from ail this. Nope! I'm happy to say, I didn't learn a thing. - Surly! - Okay, fine. I learned that we're better together. When we put aside our differences and work as a team, there's nothing we can't do. Mr. Feng and his friends moved into the park and started exploring more peaceful pursuits. Tai Chi is like fighting in slow-motion. Tough and cute. Oh, and one more thing. I learned to appreciate what was right in front of me. All right, all right! Stop lickin' Uncle Surly. I am so sorry! I don't know what got into them. But, Dad, you said it's a dog's job to chase squirrels. Frankie, what're you teaching these kids'? Hey, I'm teaching them the skills they need to be competitive in the dog marketplace. Come on, pups! Let's go mark some territory! You know, Andie, you were right. I'm so happy we're back in the park, living off the land like nature intended. I can honestly say, I'm a changed squirrel. Well, that's great, Surly. Because l... What is that smell? It's a nut can! Please! Please! I promise I'll only take one bag. Better make it two 'cause I am not sharing. Yes! This is why I love you. - Let's get nuts! Hiyah! - Whoo! Ride, Precious! Ride! Hiyah! Ah! Ah! Witness the power of my one-sixteenth-of-an-inch punch! Aw, that's cute! Can we do it one more time? That one didn't feel right. - Cut! - Take 28! Aw, that's cute! Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry! - Cut! - Take 44! Just too funny! Can we try one without the punch? I said, don't call me cute! Get them! They are going to face the fury of my... Ahh! Category:The Nut Job Category:Transcripts Category:The Nut Job Transcripts